It can happen to the most passionate of couples. The years pile on, and we simply cannot help but become bored with our partner’s anatomy. After all, you wouldn’t want to eat the same type of cereal everyday for the rest of your life, would you? Of course not! And we’re not suggesting that becoming unfaithful is the solution to your stagnation, instead, Every Woman Weekly has provided you with 5 new ways to simply change the milk!
01. Gender Reversal
Empathy is a cornerstone of great love making, and one fantastic way to build such a connection between two people is to “walk a mile in their shoes”, literally. This can be achieved by reversing your gender roles in the bedroom! Call your partner by your own name, dress like the other, take on their mannerisms, do a vocal impression of them, even go so far as to make use of devices as analogs for your partner’s equipment!
02. Primal Scream Therapy
Sure, some people make noises while knockin’ boots, but have you ever let out a guttural scream at the top of your lungs right smack in the middle of a romp? Let your unbridled rage run free, and release the anger caused by merely existing in modern day society. Folks swear by primal scream therapy, and by adding it to your arsenal of bedroom secrets, it could be incredibly powerful tool in liberating up your love life!
I would, however, suggest investing in a nice set of earplugs.
03. Surround Your Bed With Rat Traps
Think of the pure adrenaline rush one might gain from potentially falling off the bed mid-coitis. Then you tumble into a pit of rat traps set and ready to snap at your tender bits! This can really add the “UMPH” your lackluster lovemaking so desperately needs!
04. Make An Audience Of Stuffed Animals
While the thought of bringing outsiders into their bedroom might excite some people, most couples still aren’t fully comfortable with the idea, or have the gusto to follow through with it. Simulate your exhibionistic desires by positioning lifesized stuffed animals at bedside. For an added experience, take a page out of Francis Dolarhyde’s book of romance and replace their eyes with shards of mirror to give them that much-desired “living” effect.
05. Get Plastic Surgery To Look Like Someone Else Entirely
Consider getting plastic surgery so that you both look like completely different people! This way you and your significant other can experience the excitement of having a different partner without the guilt, or infidelity. Once you tire of that face and body, switch it up again! The amount of times a person can receive plastic surgery is virtually infinite! (*Editor’s Note: This statement is patently false. Plastic surgery should only be considered in extreme circumstances.)
06. Sensual Scavenger Hunt
Hide items around the house which your partner must find only after solving complex riddles which will reveal the location of such things as prophylactics, lubricating jellies, or performance enhancing devices. Get creative! The final exhausting leg of this scavenger hunt could be searching for you, or your romantic rendezvous destination!