5 Alternative Thanksgiving Sides

Not hosting Thanksgiving, but still need to think of a dish to pass at the annual family gathering? Look no further, as our staff here at Every Woman Weekly have got you covered! While we all have our favorite foods for Thanksgiving gatherings, be it the inherently lumpiness of Aunt Delia’s cheddar cheese mashed potatoes, or your mother’s yearly attempt at a rather slimy homemade pumpkin pie, here are 5 alternative Thanksgiving sides to share with your friends and family to break up the monotony of out-dated and tiresome dishes.

01. Fruitcake and Cranberry Stuffing

Looking to become this year’s family prankster? With this stuffing, no one will be able to tell what he or she are eating, even after they’ve tried it! Is it bread budding with dried cranberries or fruitcake simmered with chicken broth? A Thanksgiving side or a holiday dessert? The way some people will be loading up their plates, it won’t even matter!

02. Gummy Bear Marshmallow Fluff

Remember that artificially green marshmallow fluff dessert that somehow always seemed to make it onto the Thanksgiving menu? Something sickly sweet, and reminiscent of a 1950’s picnic? Well, now you can bring it into the 21st century with the simple addition of a 12 ounce bag of gummy bears! Let their bright colors peek through the gelatinous mounds of this lime Jello flavored dessert as they slowly dissolve in the remnant juices of crushed pineapple, along with the rest of your holiday ambition. Oh, and don’t forget to top it off with a few maraschino cherries for a little festive flair!

03. Oyster-Stuffed Turkey

Similar to the internet famous “C’thulu turkey”, this deliciously decadent preparation is sure to bring your seafood and poultry creation to the next level of sophistication. Worry not about any special food prep for this recipe! All you need to do is cram those clams up there! And if you’re still having reservations about the aphrodisiac-like affect oysters might have on your familial gathering, let us just remind you that they will also be taking in hefty doses of tryptophan, so any hot blood will be quickly doused with the overpowering urge to fall into a food coma!

4. Pumpkin Spice Mac N’ Cheese

The fall season always calls for a ridiculous amount of pumpkin spice added to everything from coffee drinks and candles to scented tampons, but in the following timeless American side, you’re going to be asking how you ever lived without it! Just combine your normal mac n’ cheese recipe with a scoop of canned pumpkin, and a generous amount of nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon and clove and watch it transforms from a classic comfort food into an unexpected hit both on the Thanksgiving spread and your family’s confidence in you!

5. Turkey, Cranberry and Brie Pie

Pumpkin pie will always be a holiday staple, but if you’re bringing a dish to pass, you better bet there will be 3 different version of the same thing, each of varying quality and concentration of overpowering nutmeg already there. Why not treat everyone to a unique, sweet and savory take on this Thanksgiving favorite? The dessert can be served hot, or cold, giving you the ability to choose between a layer of hot grease coating the tart sweet cranberries or solidified white lumps of fat!

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Jane Agni

Jane Agni

Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report. Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more.

One Comment

  1. Sometimes I like to melt butterscotch candies inside of my turkey! You wouldn’t believe how well the two flavors go together, and when the butterscotch finally dries you can tear off shards of butterscotch/turkey meat combo for easy eating!

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