10 Wackiest Baby Onesies On Amazon

Looking for some off-beat infant clothing to ostracize yourself at the next dry-as-a-bone baby shower you’ve been invited to? Or are you just looking for a few laughs to avoid labeling yourself as the most pedestrian gift-giver in the history of the world? Well check out the following list of ten baby onesies and become inspired!

/our Top Ten list of poorly chosen content to put on a baby onesie and become inspired! All of these rompers are available for purchase, dear readers, so don’t be shy to place an order if something particularly speaks to you!/


This is the perfect onesie for the self-cloned baby in your life!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Bodysuit-Outfits/dp/B0773KBYSG/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_nib_193_1?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=WE56CQPGMG3AH1SHF0DG

Piggy Slave

Complete with an adorable image of a guinea pig, while still managing to conjure the most disturbing and unwelcome mental images imaginable!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Bodysuit-Onesie/dp/B077HRJDLT/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_cwb_193_2?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=17YP4BRH7XX4SPT3G62Q

Slayer – God Hates Us All

A must-have for that upcoming Westboro Baptist Church baby shower!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Bodysuit-Outfits/dp/B077HPMGV1/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_nib_193_5?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=S7C8GCXRZXWFX9F6B8P0

Foxy Grandpa

There’s no way you can cut this which will make it tasteful. Is is proclaiming how much of a silver fox their grandpa is? Like some crawling, bobble headed billboard for pappy’s still-viril sex life, OR, this infant has somehow managed to already have children who have had their own children, all in a 3 month span.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Grandpa-Newborn-Jumpsuit-Outfits/dp/B077HSPJ5X/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_nib_193_6?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=2M0RM92CAH57X4D7YWTH

I am a Dad and a Nurse, Nothing Scares Me

Literally nothing. Which is why I play russian roulette competitively!
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Jumpsuit-Outfits/dp/B077HZ7NX9/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_cwb_193_1?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=1J33C6VPS24ZNZ5B1KNB

Shroom Onesie

One-of-a-kind romper for the hallucinogenic-eating infant!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Mushroom-Newborn-Bodysuit-Outfits/dp/B077HWGJQG/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_nib_193_6?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=P0GJ87QMR8RJ21YM3E7X

Life Is Short

Because nothing reminds you more of your frail and fleeting mortality than just being born.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Climbing-Clothes/dp/B077HPXBJ1/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_cwb_193_5?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=7XYWKAQKHNKGW7E0J7QF

Wooden Spoon Survivor

For those babies who have survived infant abuse. Because that’s something you want to advertise. That you beat your baby. With wooden spoons.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Wooden-Survivor-Newborn-Bodysuit/dp/B076XT1RF5/ref=sr_1_29?ie=UTF8&qid=1511860926&sr=8-29&keywords=baby+survivor+onesie

Will Work For Weed Baby Onesie

Please make it stop…

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Pop-Threads-Other-Infant-Bodysuit/dp/B06XXXF9NN/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1511859507&sr=8-10&keywords=wacky+baby+onesies

This Is For The Women Who Don’t Give A Fuck

Early childhood feminist indoctrination, or a warning to women who refuse to use contraceptives, we honestly can’t tell.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-R-Newborn-Sleeve-Bodysuit-Outfits/dp/B077HQT7RG/ref=pd_d0_recs_v2_cwb_193_1?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=MXRACQ472QPMBAXX93CV

Jane Agni

Jane Agni

Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report. Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more.

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